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Thursday, January 12, 2012

Domestic Violence and Child Protective Services in San Francisco - a reality or a farce.

Some in the Main Media think they can break or make someone - not, the drab newspapers and the gossip columnists we have in San Francisco - for sure.

While anyone who is decent and has some morals upholds that both women and men should not be brutalized, beaten, threatened, or otherwise live in fear - the reality is that daily hundreds in San Francisco - do.

The matter is all the more pertinent when hundreds of children from all walks of life - are treated with disdain and abused.

In this case people turn to the Child Protective Services and get little or no response.

In these dire economic times - when money is tight and most poor people who do not have the steady income they had before - folks, find it difficult to put bread and butter on the table - many times tempers flare and some times - folks resort to violence.

This is also true for richer families where if one does not have control of one's temper - folks argue and tempers flare - and in many cases - lead to domestic violence.

While some armchair critics may accept these situations as very serious; in cases, that are border line domestic violence. There are other cultural and other inherent factors one has to take into consideration - so as not to make this a black and white type of situation.

Often times in some cultures when things get hot - people resort to shouting and screaming - the San Police Police Department come and when they adjudicate what has happened - they leave.

Some ethnic groups love to vent and have they do it they do it as loud as possible. This happens on our Public Transportation buses, in public spaces, at our Football Games, and some of us that are very observant - understand this phenomenon. 

There are many times when the neighbors call in the incident as Domestic Violence - pre-supposing that some party used violence - and with some intention trying to stop the loud noises and stop violence. The SFPD come and often time after giving a warning - leave.

There are times in San Francisco when the SFPD have real knowledge about a man or a woman - having problems with "anger management".

Violence takes place - shouting and screaming - throwing of things around the house - and real physical violence. The SF Police Department is called - in some cases action is taken and in many cases - after a warning nothing is done.

If you go the City's shelters - you do not have to look too far - to find people volunteering to tell you - about "Domestic Violence".

There are as I said hundreds of cases. If you go to our jails - the women's jails - you will find more and sordid stories that will make you - puke.

In the past we have had a case in San Francisco - where even after a man had a "restraining order" the man some how defied the law - came to the home of his former wife and murdered her.

This is an extreme case - however, daily we have "domestic violence" - some in extreme cases and many minor in nature - where things are patched up - quickly.

Many times the SF Police Department will come - they see the bruises but they also see the woman in most cases - not wanting to press charges.

The police are at odds - and some Officers will take the incident seriously and others will not.

It becomes difficult often time when single mother and three or four children have to taken out of a home at odd hours - found a shelter - or other wise just taken to Police Station to resolve a situation.

If anyone follows with the process of putting a single mother for instance with two, three, or four children; in a shelter or a safe house - it is a herculean process.

One can talk the talk but walking the walk - is something that demands - fortitude and patience.

In recent years for sure when there is a call to the police and it points to "domestic violence" more than one police car will respond to the the locations of the incident.

Precaution is taken - to safeguard the police officers against harm - lessons learned from past experiences.

Many domestic violence situations turn nasty - and if a knife, gun, any weapon is involved coupled with intoxication - the variables for injury and harm - is increased manifold.

Domestic violence in our contemporary society points to the stress, hardship, the up bringing of those who want to live in society and do not want to abide by good manners, etiquette, morals, and a host of other personal habits - elements that are proper but difficult to adhere to.

It does not matter if one is educated - it matters if one is well mannered. And as much as some would not like to take into consideration - spirituality. Spirituality matters - but no one really wants to address the matters and evaluate the various elements - with the above in mind.

In past years - you would not see too many couples arguing in public. Now you do.

In past years - you would not see children - abusing their parents and calling them by the first name - now you do.

In past years you would not hear reports of many children hyper - throwing tantrums - now you do.

I knew on Supervisor at City Hall - who threw tantrums - complete with F's and B's - and no one did anything to her.

Contemporary Society has entered a faze - where the notion that one is free to do as one pleases - has entered the zone of license.

As I say sometimes - there is freedom and there is license and abuse of "freedom" is license.

Domestic violence must be nipped in the bud - once any woman or man assaults another - some sort of action must be taken to remedy the situation on a war footing.

That means that immediate action must be taken to remedy the situation with short and long term - therapy.

Suffice to say - counseling is but the tip of the iceberg, "anger management classes", meditation, and any form of habit and practice that allows the person to counter-attack one's extreme wild reaction - encouraged. 

A simple habit counting up to ten and and taking a couple of deep breathes - help. All this comes with a determination to behave, in a manner that is pleasing to society but more contributing to good society.

In extreme cases where folks resort to deadly - violence - extreme measures must be taken to segregate the person - man or woman.

In the case of children in San Francisco we have hundreds of families sleeping on the streets of San Francisco. This more because of our temperate climate - we do not get snow in San Francisco. At times a bit nippy  - but not like the cold of Chicago.

Many of these children in the streets accompanied by single mothers - in many cases these single mothers have experienced - domestic violence.

Added the children have been abused and Child Protective Services have NOT done what they are supposed to do.

CPS is a farce and report after report on their shabby performance - have pointed to this direction.

Today, in San Francisco we have areas where ten to fifteen children belonging to three or four women - sleep in one room - under horrible conditions.

If CPS is called - they can do nothing about it - many a time they will not take a report.

These women do not want to go to the shelters. The shelters are dirty, noisy, give access to anyone and often times pedophiles and other such nefarious type of characters.

Try contacting CPS - they have one telephone number where only Law Enforcement and those authorized to call can leave a message or speak to some one.

Then another number where if you are authorized you can speak to a Psychologist or some one trained in the CPS department. You must have  a previous link or engagement - with an on going case - a case manager.

The third number is for the public and that number rings and rings and you can leave a number and no one will call you.

Sometimes you reach the other two telephone numbers by mistake. You explain the situation and the person on the other side will tell you point blank - since you are not a reporter, not a doctor, not in Law Enforcement - call the third number which rings and rings and rings.

Once in a  blue moon you get a chance to leave a message - no one will call you.

The Child Protective Services is a broken system.

Domestic Violence comes in too many shades and in today's society is very difficult to address.

 Social agencies are less able to provide decent resources - easy to be critical and less to be helpful in a meaningful manner.

The Main Media loves to address it as in the case of former Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi and present elected by the constituents of San Francisco - Sheriff of San Francisco. 

I dare to say Ross's father is Persian and his mother Russian. If anyone knows anything about the culture of these two ethnic groups - they can be passionate.

Ross Mirkarimi is always passionate and he can be forceful when he wants to make a point.

His wife is from South America - passionate too. When two passionate people agree to disagree - you can tango. If they do not - it could be a rough "lambada". 

I am not condoning violence - but I do NOT know of too many people who are passionate - live a docile life - without some arguing, some debate, some name calling, some flaring of tempers - be it  for a short or long - while. 

If genuine love exists than all is well - if that flame is dead - as it often happens in America - divorce is in order.

If you are married for say over 30 years or even 20 years - many ask you how come you managed to do that?

It is the sign of the times to take relationships lightly - to seek another quickly - and when any hardship, turmoil, hurdle, anything that demands sacrifice and genuine love has to addressed - jump ship.

Folks want change, and always things to be ROSY - and seek it in acts like divorce and separation. I know too many folks who are married - so they say - three, four, five and even six times!

In San Francisco the issue with Domestic Violence and the more sensitive issue with the Child Protective Services - needs to be revamped and given a more holistic approach.

For sure the Main Media can expose all the sordidness of any one situation - but it does not do any good - except cause more confusion and extreme trauma.

More with gossip columnists like Matier and Ross - others who jump on the bandwagon and think they are doing others a service - when all they do is cause utter - pandemonium.